Paper Undies

Today I spent the entire day lying in a hospital bed waiting for a minor surgical procedure that never eventuated. I have a large lipoma on my shoulder which is not harmful and won't kill me but it does cause me some discomfort and it's just plain ugly.

I've been on the waiting list for about four months and the call that came yesterday asking me to make it into the hospital today came a lot sooner than I thought considering it's not life saving surgery. These things, if not too large, can usually be removed under a local anaesthetic but mine is too large for that. I need to be asleep while they cut my shoulder open and scrape it all out.

I had to fast from 6am this morning and be at the hospital by 10.30am. After getting changed into a very unattractive, back opening, purple hospital gown and disposable paper undies I was shown to a bed. There I lay until 4.30pm when they finally told me that due to an emergency procedure that was taking longer than expected I wouldn't be going under today and was sent home.

It was hard to ignore the stomach rumbling and I was just thankful that the aroma from any nearby cafe's could not waft through the ward. My mouth was dry as the Sahara desert because I hadn't even had any water since 6am and was not allowed to.

Luckily I took my book. A juicy little novel I've read about three times in the past. Peyton Place. I don't know what it is about that book but I love it. Maybe it's because it's got that soap opera reputation or that it very deliberately raised issues no one wanted to even believe existed in the 30's, 40's and 50's. It's a sordid tale but perfect for whiling away the hours in a hospital bed where without a blanket your paper undies would be exposed to anyone who happened to walk by.