Behold...

This is one of the only pieces of furniture that I now own that was not owned by several people before me. I feel so...grown up.

Ben and I decided it was time to invest in a dining suite that was safe, functional and liked by us both. We thought it would be easy. We had an idea about what we wanted but no idea about how hard it would be to decide between several that were similar but slightly different. This is what we finally settled on.

It got delivered this afternoon. Henry was excited because I was. The delivery van pulled up and Henry starts all "ooohhhh hoooo, it's so exciting mum, it's the delivery van". When the guys were unpacking it I told them how excited I was to have it. They both looked at me like I was some kind of deprived weirdo. I explained that it was one of the first pieces of furniture I've bought that hasn't belonged to someone else before me and cost more than $50. "Oh" he said. "No wonder you're so excited". And then they left.

Henry and I were left to climb all over it, sit on the chairs, pull them from the table, run our hands over the table top and then sit down and pretend we were eating the most delicious meal ever at the grandest table in the whole wide world!

I feel like a real adult now.

When Nana is way better than Mama

Henry spent Thursday night with my mother. He'd been there all day with her while I went to work. When I went to collect him he didn't want to come home. He outrightly refused. "No I'm staying at Nana's house tonight, Mum". So I left him and returned to collect him early for swimming lessons the following morning. I found them eating breakfast, having just woken at 8AM. Henry loudly proclaimed that he wasn't going to swimming lessons either because he was staying with Nana. I had to almost force his swimming costume on him and drag him out the door. As soon as swimming lessons were over he insisted on going back there because he just had to "tell Nana about swimming lessons". We stopped in and had a cup of tea and he overheard me telling her that I needed to get some things from the shop. Before I had even finished he said "bye mum, see you soon" waved me off and ran out to play with his cars.

So I left him there again while I went to the shops and when I returned to collect him this time he still refused to come home with me. I had to bribe him with a small toy I had bought while at the shops to get him in the car. Ever since then he will not do anything without having to tell Nana about it or ask her first if it's ok. Before bed last night he had to call Nana to say good night. He wouldn't eat breakfast this mornning without saying he had to ask Nana if he could have it. Even ice cream deserves a good telling to Nana.

Henry would be quite happy if I dropped dead and he had to live there like, forever.

Rant

I am unable to understand why it is acceptable when writing an email or sending a text message to omit salutations or any type of anything that would be normally considered polite.

I am so fed up with it and sometimes feel like completely ignoring those who do such a thing. Right now I have a couple of things for sale on ebay. Of course people like to ask questions about these things. What they can't do when asking those questions is say hi, or hello or use a question mark or spell correctly. Nor can they even bother to sign off with thanks or sign off at all.

My sister recently sold a car and advertised it with her mobile phone number as the contact. Most people sent her a text message that went something like this - "wots ur lowest price" - no hello, no thanks, no "I'm interested in your car, do you mind if I ask a few questions", no correct spelling. Not even the energy to bother dialling the number. Of course she ignored those people but two of them continued to text her with the same question.

Are we too busy? Do we just not know how to be polite anymore? Do we just not care anymore? Is it universally accepted and so I should just take it like a man and ignore it?

It's not in my nature to be rude and so I can't do it but I really, really want to.

Raising a perfect child

I sometimes wonder whether or not I'm being a good enough Mum. As I've mentioned before it's not the easiest job in the world and one that is fraught with challenges. Trying to raise even tempered, well behaved but brilliant children is a full time job in itself but when one has to work at some kind of paid employment to help pay the bills one is always racked with guilt over the time not spent teaching the children how to behave and remain even tempered.

I remarked to Henry's daycare teachers that we use the naughty corner at home which works brilliantly. They asked me why. Of course I looked at them dumbfounded because EVERYONE knows what the naughty corner is for thanks to the Nanny. They told me they don't use one at daycare and that Henry would certainly never need it there if they did because he's always so good and so perfectly well behaved and just so smart.

I left there feeling that perhaps I was doing an ok job after all if they thought he was so perfect. I did wonder though why it all turns to hell in a handbasket when we get home.

Mother's Day Update

I had a wonderful day. I attempted to sleep in but with a child who only wants his mama it didn't last long. Maya presented me with a beautiful photo album full of photos of me with my loving children. I then went to breakfast and the movies and came home to a delicious meal prepared by my loving husband.

Just the Mother's Day I wanted.

Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day tomorrow just in case some of you had forgotten. Don't know how you could with the endless amount of advertising telling you that you should spend up big on your mother.

Mother's Day for me is far more important than my birthday, Christmas or Easter. Not because I might get a gift, which is in fact the last thing I expect or want, but because it's the one day I can say is MINE. Invented just for me because I'm a mother now. I can refuse to get out of bed, cook, clean and even ignore the pleas for attention. I think of Mother's Day as the one day I can make my children and husband grateful for everything I do by being as ignorant and unavailable as possible.

I read and hear about all the celebrity mum's who get labelled supermum's because they can afford to hire a few full time nanny's while they continue the comparatively easy job of earning a living. They're all like "being a mother is the most wonderful thing in the world and my kids are the most precious things on earth". It's true, they are the most precious things on earth and they are the most wonderful thing that will ever happen but being a mother is not the easiest thing to do.

A few years after I had Maya I stumbled across a book called "The Heartache of Motherhood". It was written by a woman who used to be a magazine editor. After I found it I wanted to meet that woman and kiss her and hug her and tell her I loved her. She had very succinctly put into words all the feelings I had about motherhood. She told me it was ok to admit that you sometimes didn't like it. One line stuck in my head and it went something like this: I love my children and would walk in front of a bus for them but I don't always like being their mother.

She had written about her career, marriage and her desire to have children and how all those things changed after she became a mother. She had four children in the 60's and 70's, she baked, made clothes, became a tuckshop lady, worked from home and did all the right things but she never felt fulfilled ever again as a person in her own right. She started to despise her husband because his life went relatively unchanged but hers had been irrevocably altered.

She wrote about how people only ever told her how wonderful motherhood was and that it was something everyone had to do. No one ever told her how difficult doing the most simple things would become - taking a shower, writing a letter, talking on the phone, grocery shopping, sleeping. No one ever told her that shops were not designed to make it easy for women with children pushing strollers or that your children might scream and howl at all hours of the night or that you would never again enjoy a warm meal or a whole glass of wine or talk of anything that wasn't baby related.

After her children all left home and developed their own successful careers and had their own children she left her husband. In her day they didn't do much of anything to help out (sometimes still don't) and she despised him too much for the changes he hadn't made. They remained friends but things had been altered and they would never again be the same for her.

So when Mother's Day rolls around tomorrow I will be lying in my bed with the blankets pulled up and my ear plugs in and I will ignore. I will take all the mothering I give to others and savour it for myself. I will join my mother and sister for breakfast and leave my children at home. I will go to the movies and I will ignore the dishes, the washing, the mess and the screams. For one day I will be oblivious to the demands and the howls - at least until I get home from the movies. The peace only lasts for as many hours as you can stay away from home. I miss them when I'm not with them but at the same time I sometimes just wish they would hire a nanny.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's I know. You've done a fantastic job and you can give yourselves a pat on the back for making it this far, however far that is. It's ok to sometimes just sit and cry or scream into your pillow or even to tell your kids to shut the hell up for five minutes. You're only human after all.

For those who couldn't see it

Something New but recycled

Thanks to some very generous friends Henry has a new toy. Already it's performed countless rescues and we've only had it for two hours!