Just so I know it's all ok.

Every parent dreads hearing the words "Is that your child?" It makes us want to immediately cringe and defensively respond with "yeah, what's it to you?" There's a fear that they're about to tell you that your child did something to theirs or that they said something terribly hurtful. I've heard that phrase twice in three days but both times it was followed by praise. The first time was during our short break at the Gold Coast this past weekend. Henry had been playing on the playground equipment with Charlotte and McKenzie while another lovely volunteer parent supervised for Carla and I who were busy cooking dinner on the communal barbeque. When I came to collect the kids she asked me if Henry was mine. I told her he was, not sure what to expect. She then followed this up with a whole bunch of praise for his "kindness and helpfulness". I wondered if she was sure we were talking about the same kid. She pointed to him as reassurance. I wandered away feeling proud as punch, knowing that my young boy could indeed be helpful and kind, even when it wasn't expected of him.

It happened again today when I picked him up from after kindy care. The director of the kindy, who is hands on with the "downstairs room" more so than his room, was assisting the after care co-ordinator. When I arrived she asked me if Henry was mine. Again I was a little apprehensive, waiting to hear about what he might have done but all that came out of her mouth were words of adoration for what a wonderful, smart and kind boy he was.

Today, although I am tired because of the 3.30AM start he caused, I am feeling proud as punch of my youngest. Like my daughter, people have nothing but nice things to say about him. I feel like I must be doing something right despite my constant misgivings.

Wisdom

Just tonight I was talking to an old friend on the phone. I was complaining about how tired and old I was feeling. She said to me "yes but with age comes wisdom. Just today I was looking at a photo of you when you were 17. You were on the beach in a bikini and you were beautiful but you weren't wise. Now you are beautiful and wise".

I love her and now I feel remarkably less tired but not less tired enough to want to tackle the pile of washing, rubbish and dirty dishes.

I am bone tired

You know the kind of tired that sinks into your bones and gets you to the point where you feel you can't quite move because your body just wants to sleep or at least stop dead still for maybe an hour or two.

I feel like I have no right to complain because there is always someone else who will be more tired, more worried, with many more things to be concerned about than me but just for this once I'm going to do it because it's going to make me feel better for maybe a minute or two and that will be enough to get me to drag my butt out to the kitchen to cook dinner.

I've been on the go, literally, for two weeks now. My trip to Cairns was not in the least relaxing despite the fact that I had a hotel room and a remote control all to myself. I put in very long days and clocked up over 1000 klms of driving. I got home and packed the car to head to Maryborough to celebrate my nephew's 18th birthday and then drove home again the next day. Then it was straight back to work Monday morning and the work I put in up north now has added to my workload back here. I only have three days per week but those three days are jammed pack.

Tomorrow I'm heading away for a few days with Carla. I'm so looking forward to it and I'm hoping the children will all behave themselves enough to give both Carla and I a break. If not I will book myself into a respite centre for a month to recover.

It's sites like these...

That bring home the grim reality of how many are dead and missing as a result of the bushfires.

The land of differences

Australia is certainly a land of extremes. While I was making preparations on Saturday to head to flooded North Queensland, a fire in Victoria was raging and taking lives and homes with it as it moved through bushland. So far the tally of the dead is 181 and expected to rise even further. It's estimated that over 1000 homes have been lost and more than 7000 people have been displaced.

The tropical Cairns district is so lush, wet and humid it's hard to imagine a fire up there would ever get a chance to take hold. Victoria had been suffering a drought for the past twelve years and the week leading up to the fires the temperatures had been up around 48 degrees (118F). It was dry and one small spark would have been all that was needed to create a bushfire. At least one person has been charged with arson but with those conditions all that would have been needed was a piece of discarded glass to light up a nearby dry leaf to create the same effect.

One great thing about Australians is their generosity in times of trouble. Even those in flooded Ingham have donated generously to the bushfire appeal. North Queenslanders in particular are known for their easy going nature. The supermarket shelves were, without exaggeration, bare because trucks carrying supplies had not been able to make it through due to the flood waters. Nearly everyone I spoke to up there had a "she'll be right mate" attitude. They're used to the monsoonal rains that cause things to rot and roads to flood. Their concerns were for the people of Victoria who had lost loved ones, homes and livlihoods.

We live a long distance from both these areas of natural disaster and right now I'm forever grateful that I was able to return home to my family whose only concerns have been to try to get themselves organised enough each day to get to work and school.

Tip of the day

If you get a bill for $32.80 and you pay it over the net using your credit card make sure the amount you pay is only $32.80 and not $3280.00. This is what I did when paying a phone bill just the other day. I didn't realise this until I checked my bank balance and almost died from the shock. I thought someone, somehow had hacked into my account and used my credit card to buy themselves something rather large.

It wasn't until I looked at all recent transactions that I realised my mistake. I made a frantic call to the phone company to try to correct the mistake. They told me they could reverse the transaction but it would take 8 to 10 days. This is unfortunate because now we have no cash and I have to go away on Sunday. I've had to ask my mother for a loan to tide us over until the transaction is indeed reversed. This totally sucks and I hope the phone company lives up to their promise and doesn't decide that I just have to keep that money in credit. Once I paid $100 more on my electricity account and asked for a refund but they told me they couldn't do that and it would just have to be used as credit on my next bill. If they decide to do that I will cry myself to sleep for the rest of my life.

40 days and 40 nights

I'm due to go here on Sunday but obviously I'll have to rethink that if the rain continues. I can't possibly go somewhere that might have a problem with it's beer supply getting through. I will be working but what's the point of going there even for work if the opportunity to lie on a bed with the remote all to myself is going to be hampered by a lack of liquor supplies.

Henry is most distraught that he can't go with me and while I will welcome the few hours each evening I'll get to myself I know that I'll be more than eager to return to the chaos of home when my four days away is up.

We thought about taking the family with me for a mini holiday but at this time of year Cairns has an average daily temperature of 39 degrees celcius, the humidity is high and it rains on average in February for 19.1 days of the year. On top of that there is no swimming in the ocean because of the stinger infestations. It wouldn't much be worth it if all the family could do is stay holed up in an air conditioned room. Tourist season up there is during the winter months when the temperature usually sits at around 25 degrees celcius, humidity is low and swimming is allowed so perhaps next time they can accompany me.