MT: Hello. Is this Mrs Mother?
ME: Speaking
MT: Hello Mrs Mother, this is Ms Teacher from Wagit State High School. I'm just calling to talk to you about your daughter's unexplained absences from school.
Me: I don't know anything about that. My daughter goes to school every day. I see her leave in the morning. She's a good girl. There's no way she would wag school, especially after I told her about what happened to me when I wagged it. God, I can't believe you're calling me accusing me of having a daughter who WAGS school. As if! Do you know how upsetting it is for me to hear you accuse me like that? Like I don't care. I know what you're going to say. You're going to say that my children should be taken away from me because they don't show up for school...I feed them you know, they eat every day. It might not always be good, nutritious food but they eat. I mean there's always bread and vegemite in the house. Lord above I can't believe this (starting to cry). Do you know how hard it is to raise teenagers these days? Well, do you? Probably not, all you teachers are the same. You get on your high horse and have the audacity to just call parents and tell them they're not good enough because their children don't bother showing up to school. I'm going to write to the Minister for Education you know and tell him how awful you've made me feel. You'll be hauled across the coals for this. You might even lose your job....
MT: Um, Mrs Mother. I just wondered if you or your daughter had an explanation, that's all. I'm sure there's a good reason for it. It's just that we don't have her on the roll for three days over the last month is all. Maybe she was just late and didn't get marked off. Perhaps you could...
ME: Oh sure. That's what you say but I know you really mean to spy on me and find out my business don't you? You people can't help yourselves.
MT: No Mrs Mother that's not what I'm trying to do. Look, would you just ask your daughter if she has an explanation and get back to us. We need to be able to account for those days. It's a legal requirement.
ME: Oh so now you're going to bring the law into it. Well I'm calling my solicitor.
MT: Ok Mrs Mother. You do that. But please just ask your daughter about the absent days and get back to me.
ME: Alright then I will but when this is all over you're going to be sorry you even called me.
Later...
ME: Maya. Come here please.
M: God. What! I'm trying to blow up my ear drums with my Ipod. This had better be important.
ME: Watch your mouth young lady. This IS important. Why weren't you at school on days blah, blah, blah.
M: Oh God Mum. I was at school. I was just late and missed getting my name on the roll.
ME: Well that's not what the teacher said. She said you were wagging it. She said you were drinking and smoking down near that creek bed near the sportsfield. You better not have been. You know I've got enough on my plate to deal with right now...
M: Mum. I was. God why don't you believe me. You go off at me all the time for nothing. I'm sick of it.
ME: Well if it's so bad then perhaps you should find a new family. One that lets you wag school whenever you want...
M: Ring up the school if you want and get them to check all my other lessons. I just was late for form that's all.
ME: Alright. I will. And I suppose you were late for form because you were kissing boys...
M: No Mum. I wasn't.
Later still...
MT: Hello. Is this Mrs Mother?
ME: Yes it is.
MT: This is Ms Teacher from Wagit State High School. I've checked the record of attendance at other classes and it seems your daughter was at school but she had missed her form class and so missed getting her name on the roll. I'm sorry if we caused you any distress.
ME: Yes well so am I. What with your ringing here and accusing my daughter of being a drug addict because she didn't show up for school. I told you she goes to school. Thank you for calling and straightening that out. Now I can let her out of the cage I lock her in when she misbehaves.
*Of course it didn't happen exactly like this but why the school couldn't actually check those records before calling me and sending me into a downward spiral of stupidness I'll never know*
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1 comment:
Love it! The school should not have left it a few weeks to check up on absenteeism - Michael has to do it on the day if a student doesn't present and the office hasn't been notified. He had one mother who twigged that her son had wagged to go to the beach with his girlfriend, she drove to the beach, bawled him out in public and then took him straight to school in his boardies - where he spent the rest of the day in detention!
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