This is my life

I often wonder what my life would look like if it was presented to the world as a black and white sketch. i.e one without depth. How would it look? Would it be presented as me, with my children and husband? The Pacific Ocean behind us? Or the natural Australian bush? Or some chaotic abstract?

I often think about how my life is presented to others. If I was to write one paragraph would it appear interesting? Formulaic? Bloody minded? Boring?

Let me see if I can pique your interest with one paragraph.

Born in a small semi-coastal Queensland town to parents who struggled to keep both their marriage and respective businesses. One of five children, all of whom love and respect each other despite their differences. Never finished high school but later managed to complete one year of university studies and win an academic award for excellence. Spent years moving from one job in one location to another because the lure of life was too magnetic to ignore. Gave birth to a child out of wedlock, raised her predominantly alone. Later married and had another child. Moved into the health research field (which she now loves) as a result of the doldrum work undertaken when employment was a necesary evil. Nearing 40 and still unsure of how to celebrate impending middle age. Proud of the fact that despite all the illegal things she may have done in life she was only caught (unintentionally) shoplifting at age 37. (Everyone needs to be caught for something)

So, I ask you, how do I paint that? Should the Pacific Ocean, peaceful and crazy at the same time, with a hint of mischief, be my backdrop or should I opt for the Australian bush - serene but colourful? Or... should I get some boring studio shot - one in which a neutral background of clouds which represent nothing be my thing?

Happy Mother's Day

To all the wonderful, hardworking, beautiful mothers I know - Happy Mother's Day. I hope yours has been as wonderful as mine. I've enjoyed breakfast with my own beautiful mother, my sisters, who are also mothers, my husband and my children. We then all came back here to drink tea while we straightened my sister's unruly, afro hair with a hair straightener heated to 4000 degrees because that was the only way to get those curls to lose their bounce.

Afterwards is when the real treat came. My husband went out and bought me two dozen of the biggest, freshest pacific oysters he could find and french champagne to go with it. Right now he's cooking me up a prawn curry and I'm salivating at the thought of it.

All this caring and loving leaves me wanting to remind everyone of how important it is to care for even those we don't know very well.

Yesterday I attended the wedding of Maya's half sister. The bride was beautiful, the weather was perfect and the whole thing went off without a hitch. Perfectly planned and executed. After the ceremony we all met up at a nearby cafe for drinks, meals and a little bit of partying. A work colleague of the bride, someone who I had never previously met, was seated at my table for dinner. This woman was such a happy, beautiful person that I warmed to her instantly. She imbibed a little too much on the free flowing champagne and very quickly found herself a little under the weather. She left the table between courses to have a cigarette. When she hadn't returned after the rest of us had finished our meals I got a little worried.

I went to look for her but could not find her. I asked some others, people I thought were her friends, to help me look for her. Their responses shocked me. They were all like "well she's probably gone for a sleep in the park, she was pretty drunk you know. She'll be right. She'll sleep it off and get home some how". I was horrified that they could care so little. We were after all in a cafe, located in an inner city park, a place where one certainly would not want to be left alone under a tree to sleep it off. Who knows what might have happened to her. I continued to search for her but to no avail. I again asked some others to help me find her. I was worried. People who knew her said she didn't normally drink but she was stupid for drinking so much so quickly. It was like they were inviting her to attract trouble. If it were my teenage daughter and her friends were so callous I would lock her up and never let her near them ever again.

Eventually she was found. She had been just across the road, waiting for the effects to wear off a little. She was ok. A little sick but otherwise fine.

Guitar picking

My daughter has gone to a party and taken her guitar. Should I be worried? I would like to think not because she is a superstar now. A guitar picking, song playing superstar in her own right. She jammed with my brother-in-law last weekend and he has been short listed to play with Paul Kelly through a Triple J competition. That means she's only a breath away from stardom. Soon I'll be kicking away potential suitors from the door.

Until she returns I'll stay awake. I wouldn't want her to think I was happy enough to sleep while she was showcasing her talents in front of her peers.

PS ignore the curtains in the background of this photo, although I quite like their hideousness. They came with my sister and her husband's recently purchased home. They have no intention of keeping them, at least not in that room. They were thinking of giving them pride of place in the loungeroom.

Busted Whoopee Cushion

Whoa! Look at me, two posts in one day! I had something on my mind and it occurred to me that perhaps there are other people in the world who are as insane as me sometimes. I occasionally get these irrational thoughts of having to be super organised. I only sometimes have these thoughts because usually I am so "take it as it comes" and life gets a bit crazy as a result.

Anyway I had just opened the refrigerator to find all manner of half eaten left overs. All of them still perfectly eatable but by next week they won't be. Suddenly I thought I had better get rid of everything in the fridge because, you know, I might be starting my new job for real next week and well, all this fridge stuff will be in the way and I might never get a chance to clean it up, EVER!

Then I panicked about the enormous pile of ironing lying on my spare sofa, right in the middle of the loungeroom, right where I can see it. I wondered if I should manically start ironing but then I just walked right past it. I did nothing about that panicky thought and as soon as I had moved away I had a panicky thought about how dirty the floor is. I've been so caught up in having no job and believing I'll have time for it tomorrow that nothing has been done. I know I've said in my previous posts that I've been doing this stuff but I lied. I haven't done any of it. There's stuff that needs to be done and I've not done any of it!

I have been busy job hunting and catching up on talking to my friends by email who are probably going to be so happy that I have a job to go to and will not have the time to harass them with written words of nothing. They'll probably throw a party.

I sat on the whoopee cushion too hard and busted it. It's no longer funny.

So I'm over the business of finding a new job, although I did yesterday receive two more requests for an interview. It felt pretty good to say I was no longer in the running. Still I have yet to iron out the details of my new job. Hopefully that is going to happen Monday. In the meantime I now need to find time to just hang out and do nothing.

Week one of being unemployed was full of the grief one feels over losing a job. Week two was full of applying for jobs and week three has been tidying up loose ends. Now I need one more week just to lie around like a slob sucking on lollypops and reading trashy novels. Of course if I get a spare week that's not what I will really do. I'll more than likely spend it doing some more washing, ironing, shopping, cooking and cleaning. Anymore weeks off work and I will be dead broke so I probably shouldn't push it too far.

Henry has taken to role playing and always wants to play "daycare". He wants me to be him and for him to be mummy or Miss Alison, his day care teacher. Last week he had an ear infection. He had a dose of anti-biotics over the weekend and seemed fine to go back to daycare on the Monday so I sent him. I got a call from Miss Alison around lunchtime telling me he was upset and saying his ear hurt. As I had just finished at a job interview I asked her to comfort him till I got there and to tell him I was on my way.

He had fallen asleep by the time I arrived so I picked him up and carried him out to the car. He roused and was fully awake by the time we got home. I gave him a dose of pain killers and he was back to his hell-raising antics within half an hour. It's this episode that he wants to replay when we play "daycare".

He tells me, in a stern voice, to just lie down and rest on my mattress. Then he suddenly shows concern for me and in a gentle voice says "it's alright, your mummy is coming soon". He then walks out of the room and comes back with a huge smile on his face and says "Hi darling, are you ok?" He leans in close and whispers in my ear something unintelligible. He then attempts to pick me up and tells me he is going to take me to see Dr Helen. He then runs out to get his doctor kit and comes back to gently guide me into the chair. He says "Now Henry, how are you feeling? Is your ear sore?". He checks me over thoroughly just as Dr Helen would. Then he offers me a lolly and says "I'll show you to the door, it was nice to see you again Henry. I hope you're feeling better soon".

If I say the wrong thing at the wrong time during these games I get a lecture. He stands with his hands on hip and talks in a stern voice but doesn't seem to be saying anything I can understand. Perhaps that's a sign that he doesn't understand me when I am angry...phew!

So we have just now bought a whooppee cushion and the two of us haven't laughed so much in months. The best $2.99 I've ever spent. Fake farts are just so damned amusing.

Job after job after job

I've been out of work just a little over a week and I've had two job offers. I also had a second interview this morning for a job I'm not sure I'm suited to but I've had a verbal offer for a job I am very excited about. All the details of it are yet to be polished as they have created a position for me.

Finally I managed to land an interview with someone who recognised and appreciated my talents.

In the meantime I will enjoy my time at home taking care of the family and doing their washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning. After that I'll be keen to get back to work and ignore it.

Lovely shirt and other lovely shirt

Being unemployed means not having to dress up because, well I've got nowhere to go. I've tried to make some kind of an effort to look at least half way reasonable while hanging out at home however. Yesterday I pulled out my nicest pair of jeans (the ones without any holes in them), t-shirt and knitted shirt which is unravelling at the seams. Henry took one look at me and said "Mum, why do you have on that lovely pair of jeans and lovely shirt and other lovely shirt?"

I told him that I had dressed like a Queen just for him. I wanted him to admire me for my ability to continue to pay attention to my appearance even when I have no reason to.

Sons are the best things a mother can have. Henry is always complimenting me. When I get a hair cut he is always the first to say "Mum, your hair looks nice". If Ben or Maya leave the house with only a cursory goodbye Henry quickly prompts them to say it "nicer". "Dad and Sister, you need to say goodbye nicer to Mum and give her a kiss".

I know that this might not necessarily carry over into his teenage years or his adult years but for now I'm going to soak it up.