Your branches are so lovely

The Christmas Tree went up yesterday and while I'd like to say that it was a joyous occasion in which my children and I bonded over the hanging of the star, I can't because it would be a complete fabrication of the truth.

I made the mistake days ago of telling Henry that it was nearly time to bring out the tree. For days he did not let the idea go and asked me repeatedly if it was "Monday tree day" yet. I did a deal that I knew as I was making it, wouldn't stick. I told him we could get the tree out, assemble it and decorate it when Monday - 1 Dec came around. Everyone who has children knows that you should never mention anything until two minutes before it's about to happen because that two minutes of hell is bearable in comparison to the days or weeks of hell that ALWAYS follows an important announcement. So as you probably guessed, I caved in a whole four days before Dec 1.

The decorations came out from their storage space under my bed. The carton they were in had about 10 inches of dust on it, the removal of which had me sneezing for the rest of the day. Never mind, I thought, onward and upwards - this WILL be fun. Henry's eyes lit up as soon as the carton was opened. He could see sparkling things and the possibilities in his mind were endless. He dove in and started throwing them all around the house just to see them sparkle as they fell. I did what all good parents would do and explained to him they were for the tree only and if he didn't stop what he was doing he would be confined to a 1 x1 metre square cell for the rest of his life.

I searched for the lights because all good tree decorating guides say they should go first. I couldn't find them in the carton so I turned my bedroom upside down and then the kitchen cupboards and the bathroom cupboards and the cupboards downstairs but they had disappeared. Determined that the tree was going to be decorated I got in the car, with Henry, and drove to the local supermarket to pick up some lights because there was no way my tree was going to be left to sit in a darkened corner full of sparkly things that wouldn't sparkle because there was no light.

I grabbed a set that had the word "sparkling" all over the packaging. That was all I was looking for so they would do. We got back home and I started tearing into that packaging when I realised they were not tree lights but some icicle string things designed to be hung outside. I tried hard not to scream as I threw them on the ground and went in search, yet again of my old ones. I found them in a plastic bag under my bed and breathed a sigh of relief.

Once the lights were hung I let Henry and Maya go for it. Maya lost interest half way through because her Myspace friends were hailing her in the background and Henry was only interested in throwing things at the tree rather than hanging them so I ended up doing it myself. Once I had finished I looked around at the carnage in the loungeroom and decided I needed a cup of tea and a lie down.