The Root of all Evil

Carla and I have just had an email conversation about all the bad things associated with bribing your child with food to get them to co-operate. She knows all about how bad it is because she works in an environment that is all about fostering good eating habits in children. But because she's also a mother she knows that the reality of life with kids is much harder than is often suggested in all those good eating habit books.

We spoke about this because I bribe Henry with Nutella. Yes Nutella. Those lovely little one-serve packs of them. They're worth their weight in gold because all I need to do is utter the word "Kintella", as Henry calls them, and he comes running.

I've had to bribe him today in order to get him to co-operate while I treated an infection that had developed in an unseemly place. After a restless night in which Henry woke several times in obvious pain I told him we'd need to go to to see Doctor Helen. When I rang to book in we were told she was on leave. I told him we'd have to see her locum. He did not think this was such a good idea and asked if she had lollies like Doctor Helen did. When I told him I believed she did he said "well, that's ok then."

Kintella or any other bribe subsitute that works, makes being a parent easy...sometimes. When I am in a hurry to get out of the house early in the morning and Henry is feeling decidedly unco-operative all I need do is whisper the magic word and he's like putty in my hands. What parent wouldn't want that kind of complaince?

Henry has also recently learned some unsavoury words from Child From Hell at daycare. He's also developed the normal sense of toilet humour. He says all day "Mum, that's a bum, bum". He then looks at me and says "I shouldn't say that naughty word should I?" I remind him again that no he should not. It's not polite. This is usually followed by the words "Kintella doesn't make me say naughty words".

In other news, Maya had her braces removed today. The three and a half years she had them on for were worth every second. Her teeth are beautiful! They're straight and perfect and look like they could easily be my teeth if I'd gone through three years of wearing braces. I'm jealous. I want her teeth. She has to wear a retainer for some months yet but it's not at all like those ugly fuse wire type things that were around when I was a kid. Her retainer is clear plastic and one would never even know she is wearing it. I'm very proud of the fact that she stuck it out and was diligent in doing all that was asked of her in order for her mouth to look like that of an overpaid supermodel's.