It will feel so good

So I now have an appointment with a neurosurgeon next week. I've done a lot of reading and I don't hold out much hope that any kind of surgery is actually guaranteed to give me any relief or make much difference but it does feel nice to know that there's a reason behind the pain and the constant need to use a toilet that has driven me nuts for years.

I am very much looking forward to taking the results to the urologist however. I'm hoping it might humble him a little but I'm suspecting it won't. It makes me wonder how many other patients he gets paid to see but does nothing for.

The most important indicator was not so much the need to pee constantly but the fact that my bladder would never empty which of course caused the need to pee again shortly after. That's the tell tale sign and one the urologist would not believe was causing my frustration. He even had me admitted to hospital over night so he could have the nurses monitor me when I urinated and then measure how much was left in my bladder. The amounts were significant but he believed they were unimportant and that I wasn't trying hard enough.

Physio and bladder retraining for overactive bladder requires the patient to do things such as "double void" - essentially sit down, pee, get up and then sit down and pee again; holding on by sitting down and waiting till the need to pee urgently passes; measuring how much you pee when you do; and exercising using all kinds of strange looking devices. It's not fun and not in anyway attractive. I did these things for years but none of them made a scrap of difference and my problems became worse despite the physio and the meds but the uro believed I couldn't possibly be telling him the truth about it.

I once, in frustration, said to him, "you're a man and I assume you have a normal bladder function, I know that I am just one of many patients but I am trying to tell you how it is for me so please listen". He gave me some smirk and told me again that there is no way what I'm telling him could be true.

So I will have my last appointment with him in a couple of weeks and I will be so pleased to politely show him the results and then politely tell him I won't be returning to see him.