It's here

Summer is here. Well not technically but it sure is hot enough. The tar on the roads is already melting and the pavements are curling trying to hide themselves from the sun. Some people are jealous of our summers but those people are all psychologically deranged. They need help in the form of therapy in an air conditioned office. The end of October and early November are my favourite times of the year. Just before the sweltering sun makes it impossible to spend any time outdoors between the hours of 7AM and 7PM.

What's so unfair about this is that we're expected to ENJOY Christmas Day in 40 degree plus heat. For some stupid reason we still bake hams, turkeys and all manner of hot edible things and sit around a table stuffing our faces while we drip with sweat.

When I was a kid Christmas never seemed to be so hot. Maybe it was but we just didn't notice it. After lunch we'd all hang out under the mango tree stuffing our faces with freshly deposited mangoes and watermelon that Dad broke up by throwing on the ground. We got the hose out and sprayed each other, had rotten mango fights with the neighbouring kids, played with our gift which usually included something for us to share and always came with a timer to deter any fights over who had been on it the longest.

As I get older and the weather gets more intense I begin to dread the whole thing. The sun just burns. Even our eyeballs sweat, we can feel the skin cancers developing and growing as we take the rubbish to the bin. The ground burns under our feet. Sometimes even the beach is just too hot to take advantage of - the sand is too hot to walk on let alone sit on.

One day we'll make it to the US for a white Christmas. One in which we can build snowmen, ride sleds, have snowball fights and then go inside and warm up.

One day.....we might even get smart and actually buy only cold foods instead of just talking about it.