I just got back from the shopping centre. My all time least favourite place. I had to go because I needed to purchase something special. Something I hope the receiver will enjoy. I kind of knew what I wanted so I headed out early in the hope that I would miss all the other shoppers who also had to buy something special.
I took Henry with me as his Dad had to go to service the computer of someone who may be an online gambler. Of that I can't be sure. But what it meant was that Henry could not stay home. I had to do the thing I hate most with a child in tow.
Henry had already been to the toilet earlier in the morning and I thought there would be little chance he'd have to go again before I got home. I wasn't planning on being there forever so I left home without any spare underpants or wipes or any of the usual emergency supplies I take along.
While I was in the store, a rather crowded specialist store, Henry very loudly declared that he had a poo in his pants. "Mum, I've got a poo in my undies!". I looked up completely embarrassed to see him waddling over to me, hunched over in the hope that the poo wouldn't stick and might somehow miraculously disappear.
All faces were on me, and my son. Everyone had literally stopped what they were doing and had turned to me to gauge how I might react to this bit of news. I wanted to tell them all that it was just a bit of poo, there was nothing to see, they could all get back to what they were doing because the poo, well it was nicely tucked into his elasticated undies and was not about to fall out at their feet and germ the place up.
Since I'd already found what I wanted I decided that I was just going to pay for it and make Henry wait because after I'd gone to the bathroom to clean him up I was hotfooting it out of that centre. He stood there beside me at the checkout all hunched over with a stench strong enough to kill an already dead rabbit. He calmly waited until I was ready and then we walked slowly to the bathrooms. I'll spare you the cleaning up details but let's just say I was extremely thankful that the bathrooms were free at that moment.
I've learned my lesson. I will never go shopping again. Ever. Not even when I've run out of food.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Oh, that is bad. Very funny though!
So, do you think it is a worse shopping experience than the 'Myer' incident?
Probably not worse than the Myareyouashoplifter incident but close.
oh please tell me you weren't shopping for charli's present? :)
I wouldn't tell you that. Buying the gift was the easy and pleasurable part. Henry even helped with that. But you do realise that I made it sound worse than it really was for entertainment value. Still...it was pretty disgusting...and very smelly.
oh I sooooo understand your pain :)
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you vowed never to go shopping again. I think I'll take that vow as well.
Post a Comment